iZenaku on DeviantArthttps://www.deviantart.com/izenaku/art/These-Ambiguous-Feelings-376922977iZenaku

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These Ambiguous Feelings

Published: Jun 9, 2013

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Description

_{What am I doing? Why am I choosing Spiderleg over Lionblaze? Lionblaze was there first after all, yet here I am, going after the tom who asked me first, even though he wasn't there for me from the beginning. Yet somehow, this tom has gotten me to love him, even though in my heart I knew I have loved Lionblaze, and still do. How has he stolen my heart so quickly, so easily . . . am I weak, a failure, abandoning the one who was there for me first? No, no. He never told me he loved me, so how can I know I really abandoned him? Maybe I'm just doing him a favor. But then again, all of the signs are clear, it's only mere doubt from my own thoughts that is telling me he wasn't the one. And now, with Spiderleg, I love him ever so dearly, yet Lionblaze will not get out of my head, no matter how happy I am with the one who won me. It's been so long now, and even though in reality he is keeping his distance, he is always nagging me in my thoughts. I feel his presence all the time, I can never shake off the thoughts "what if . . . ?" He is always troubling me, even if he is being considerate by staying away from me and Spiderleg. I cannot shake off the feeling that I am making a terrible mistake, even if I am happy. It's like I have abandoned him in his time of need, even though he never confessed his love for me. What if it doesn't exist? But yet I know that it does. It always has. And I can feel him slowly giving up on me, aiming to let his love for me go. But if that goes, so do I, and I will not be able to live with myself. But what about Spiderleg? Always by my side, there for me when I need him, I love him with all my heart, but yet Lionblaze is always stepping into my thoughts. How do I make him go away, or can I? If I do, I know I will be considered as heartless, letting go of the love in my heart without a second thought. I cannot do that, but I cannot leave Spiderleg either. With these ambiguous feelings, my life is at a loss between the love of two different toms . . .

Just to let you all know, this is not real, this is not happening in any of my comics, etc. It's just a what if thing, pretending that Midnightclaw's love for Scourge never existed. I'm just a sucker for love triangles like this, so Lionblaze and Spiderleg it is. ;w;

So I really don't have much to say here. Everything was said in Midnightclaw's point of view above, and I'm liking how this turned out for the most part, so warning: big file.

Please critique/comment/fave/etc. I feel like I need more feedback than I usually get in order to improve.

GIANT EDIT: Lionblaze has no face to represent it's blank in Midnightclaw's eyes; it shows that she is ambiguous about his feelings and any facial expression of his is noted as unreadable to her.

Art, Midnightclaw (c) *iZenaku
Spiderleg, Lionblaze, Warriors (c) Erin Hunter}

Image size

1800x1512px 10.39 MB

Comments39

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Jade-Lane

Jul 1, 2013

Interesting idea ^^
/CHOOSELIONBLAZED8/